When Spencer Matthews and Jamie Laing sat down for a quiet conversation on September 24, 2025, they didn’t just record an episode of a podcast — they mended a 22-year friendship that had frayed in public view. The emotional exchange, released on Great Company with Jamie LaingLondon, ended months of speculation, hurt feelings, and media misinterpretations that began with a wedding invitation and ended with a 150-mile ultramarathon.
A Friendship Built at 15, Broken by Silence
They met in 2003, two teenage boys in London who bonded over music, mischief, and the kind of loyalty that feels permanent. By 2011, both were central figures on Made in Chelsea, the E4 reality show that turned their lives into televised drama. In 2018, Jamie officiated Spencer’s wedding to Vogue Williams — a gesture that, at the time, felt like the ultimate sign of trust. But by 2023, everything changed. Spencer found out he wasn’t invited to Jamie’s wedding to Sophie Habboo — not through a text, not a call — but through The Daily Mail. "I was pretty hurt," Spencer admitted on the podcast. "I tried to brush it under the table. I’m sure it wasn’t malicious from you, at least I’d like to think it wasn’t." Jamie, meanwhile, was blindsided by Spencer’s absence from his stag do. "You didn’t want to come to the stag do," Jamie said. "And for me, that felt like a rejection. I didn’t understand why." The truth? Spencer, sober since 2018, felt uncomfortable attending a high-energy party centered around drinking. He didn’t explain it well. And Jamie, who’s candid about his own battles with anxiety and panic attacks, took it personally.The Ultramarathon That Split Them Further
Fast forward to March 2025. Jamie Laing, the co-founder of Candy Kittens, ran 150 miles over five days — raising £2,053,835.00 for Comic Relief. It was a monumental achievement, covered by every major outlet. But the headlines weren’t about charity. They were about the silence. "No sign of Spencer Matthews," read one. "Friends no more?" read another. "I saw those articles," Jamie said, voice cracking. "And I thought, ‘He doesn’t care.’" The truth? Spencer had planned to post once the race finished. He didn’t want to hijack the moment. But by then, the damage was done. "I didn’t invite you to the finish line," Jamie admitted. "Because we weren’t talking. And if I didn’t feel connected to you, why would you show up?" It was the first time either of them realized their friendship had become tabloid fodder — not because of betrayal, but because of miscommunication.
"I’m Not a Great Friend"
The podcast was raw. Spencer, visibly emotional, said: "I thought we were best friends. And when you didn’t invite me... I felt erased." He admitted he should’ve at least shown up for a couple of nights at the stag do. "I was scared of being the sober guy. But that’s not an excuse. I’m not a great friend." Jamie, who wrote the bestselling book Boys Don’t Cry about his mental health struggles, replied: "I’m very sensitive to rejection. I need to know I’m loved — even if I don’t say it." He revealed that after his wedding, he didn’t reach out because he assumed Spencer didn’t want to be part of his life anymore. "I thought you moved on." The twist? Neither had moved on. They’d just stopped talking — and let the world fill in the blanks.Why This Matters Beyond Two Celebrities
This isn’t just a reality TV soap opera. It’s a mirror. How many friendships have ended because someone didn’t text back? Because a sober friend skipped a party and was labeled "boring"? Because a charity run became a referendum on loyalty? Spencer and Jamie’s story shows how easily modern relationships unravel — not through drama, but through silence, assumptions, and the pressure of public perception. Jamie’s message at the end was clear: "Success means nothing if you’re alone." He’s rebuilt his confidence after years of panic attacks. He’s learned that relationships matter more than viral moments. And Spencer? He’s finally owning his part. "I should’ve said something. I should’ve called." Their reconciliation didn’t come with a grand gesture. No social media posts. No interviews. Just two men, in a quiet studio, saying what they should’ve said years ago.
What’s Next?
They’re taking it slow. No plans for a joint TV appearance. No comeback tour. Just coffee. Texts. Maybe a walk. Jamie said he’s already invited Spencer to his next charity event — "if you want to come." Spencer said yes.Frequently Asked Questions
Why wasn’t Spencer Matthews invited to Jamie Laing’s wedding?
Jamie didn’t intentionally exclude Spencer — he simply assumed their friendship had drifted after Spencer declined the stag do. With over 100 guests, the guest list was curated based on who Jamie felt closest to at the time. Spencer only learned he wasn’t invited through a newspaper, which deepened his sense of rejection.
Did Spencer Matthews intentionally ignore Jamie’s ultramarathon?
No. Spencer planned to post a message after Jamie finished the 150-mile run, not during it, to avoid overshadowing the achievement. But by the time he posted, media speculation had already painted him as indifferent. Jamie, unaware of this intention, interpreted the silence as abandonment.
How did sobriety impact their friendship?
Spencer’s sobriety since 2018 led him to decline social events centered around alcohol, including Jamie’s stag do. Jamie misinterpreted this as personal rejection, not realizing Spencer’s boundaries were health-driven, not relational. Neither communicated their perspective clearly, allowing assumptions to grow.
What role did the media play in their feud?
The media amplified every silence and absence into a narrative of betrayal. Headlines like "Made in Chelsea stars at war" fueled public speculation, making reconciliation harder. Both men admitted they only realized the extent of the rift by reading news articles — not from direct conversation.
Is this reconciliation permanent?
Both men say they’re committed to rebuilding trust slowly. There’s no public spectacle planned. Their focus is on consistent, low-pressure communication — texts, calls, and shared time away from cameras. Jamie emphasized that real friendship isn’t about headlines, but presence.
What’s the significance of Jamie Laing’s book Boys Don’t Cry in this story?
The book, which details Jamie’s struggles with anxiety and emotional vulnerability, explains why he took Spencer’s silence so personally. His mental health journey taught him that connection is fragile — and that silence can feel like abandonment, even when none is intended.
